Another New Start

Very busy birthday weekend for my teen daughter, but took the time amid all the hustle and bustle to make it official - we are now members of a gym, specifically Sky Fitness And Well Being.

We are planning on attending a hot yoga session after church tomorrow, just to get our feet wet, and then I'll begin in earnest with a combination BodyPump & S-Cycle class at 5:30 Monday morning.

Join me on my new fitness journey right here and on Twitter at @SEBenway!

How The Hell Did This Happen?

This picture was taken almost fourteen years ago:



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know what's changed since then?

 

1. No way I'm ever fitting into those jeans ever again.

2. No chance any of that hair is coming back again.

3. Or will ever be that brown again.

4. That baby is celebrating her 14th birthday tomorrow.

 

Where did all that damn time go?

 

I remember her first steps, her first word, her first day of school, her first temper tantrum, her first "A," her first everything. Or, nearly everything.

 

Now, it's all a blur of old photos and video clips and Father's Day cards.

 

Sigh.

 

In four short months, I'll be 50. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that.

 

I don't feel 50. I still feel like I'm in my 20's. Except, more and more, in the mornings when I drag my lazy ass out of bed and go downstairs to start the coffee I have to have before truly starting my day.

 

(If Bonnie were here, she'd interrupt me at this point to ask, "Then why do you act like you're 14 so much of the damn time?")

 

I still think of our house as "the new house," even though we've lived here for nearly five years. Bonnie's van is "the new car," even though it's nearly two years old now.

 

Did I loose the ability to perceive the passage of time at some point? Or have I become oblivious to it all? I'm leaning towards the latter. Things seem to run together so much of the time, and with three kids and only two of us, there seems to be an ever-present rush to get things done before it's too late and we have to turn the lights out for the night.

 

There's never enough time...maybe that's why? Perhaps I've just given in to the inexorable march of time, and I'm now just trying to make it through another day without everything falling apart.

 

That's sounds like as good a reason as any, I guess.

Requiem pour mon compte Facebook

In which I use a faux-French, Google-translated title and dubious logic to extoll the virtues of Twitter and mourn the passing of my Facebook account.

I've been asked a few times in the last couple of weeks why I deactiviated my Facebook account.

My answers have ranged from "I was overwhelmed" to "I've outgrown it" to "It was taking too much of my time" to "I'm not a thirteen year old girl."

All true reasons, to one extent or another.

Facebook, justifiably or not, carries a lot of baggage. It has its uses, sure, and came in handy more than once.

But looking at the big picture, it was the correct decision to let it go and move on.

Yet, I've remained on Twitter. And only partly because many of the people I enjoyed most on Facebook also hang out there.

Twitter is different than Facebook in the same way Burger King is different that McDonald's. They're both social media platforms (fast food burger joints) that cater to a quasi-specific crowd. Granted, Facebook (McDonald's) has a more ubiquitous appeal, and is certainly more used, if not better known.

I guess the bottom line is this, for me at least: Twitter is still cool, and Facebook ain't.

But do I miss Facebook? No, not really.

Facebook is really, primarily, a one-way street for most users. You post pictures, status, GIFs and memes then move on. There is a certain amount of engagement, but for the most part, it is a showcase for how fun/cool/funny/sad/pathetic/interesting a person's life is. Or rather, how fun/cool/funny/sad/pathetic/interesting they want you to think it is.

Twitter has much the same merits/limitations, but it is primarily conversation-driven. That is to say, engagement is the lifeblood of Twitter. And twitter forces you to be succinct, to say what you have to say in 140 characters or less (much less if you want to accompany your musing with pictures).

Just this week, I've engaged in conversations regarding privacy, gossip, gummy bears, Maslow's heirarchy, running, the weather, and a dozen other topics. I've spoken to local newspeople in the course of doing their jobs. I've interacted with people that I would have never had the chance to meet on Facebook.

And my life is richer for it.

Cheers!

I've started drinking my coffee black, more as a means to make my wife happy than anything else (don't ask). What I've found is that I actually prefer it that way.

I had no idea what I was missing - the aroma, the taste - until I abandoned all of the additives and just experienced the coffee.

I'm become very particular about it as well. I used to be happy to just walk into any ol' place because I was relatively certain I'd get the same faux-vanilla- or faux-hazelnut-flavored drink regardless of where I was.

Now I'm developing an internal list of preferences. QuikTrip - passable. Starbucks - okay but bitter, but then again I've always patronized them for the ambiance and cute baristas, and that won't change. McDonald's - food is still crap, but surprisingly good coffee.

Because I'm impatient, I always add (depending upon the size of the travel mug) an ice cube or three so I don't have to wait to drink it.

And that brings me to scotch, in a way.

I began to wonder, as I approach my silver anniversary in four months, what else have I been missing out on?

I've always been a light social drinker - beer, wine, an occasional Bailey's - but have always, with the exception of the rare rum-and-Diet-Coke, avoided the harder stuff. But, what if...?

So I came home from work one day last week, dropped a couple of ice cubes (see how it came around?) into a stem-less wine glass, and poured some scotch from our modest liquor cabinet into the glass.

Of course, it wasn't quite all that spontaneous. I had done a little research beforehand. The websites devoted to how to select, partake of, and appreciate all the various libations is legion - my iPhone Safari cache is evidence of that.

And I am well on my way to becoming the same sort of scotch snob that I've become regarding coffee - not quite a know-it-all, but certainly careening towards unbearably pompous.

I've got my eye on a $55 bottle of 15 year old scotch that I will buy as soon as I get the go-ahead from my wife.

Until then, I will continue to endure her snarky comments about my new passion (oh, poor me!) until she finds something else to ride me about. Ironically, another benefit of the scotch...

In the meantime - cheers to both my coffee-loving and scotch-loving friends!

And another thing...

I've almost completed one of those nifty "list" posts that I love reading on other blogs, but I'm a bit stuck. Not because of that post, but rather because of other things that happen around me to distract me from completing a single fucking thought.

Today's distraction is online courtesy.

That's a pretty popular theme, and if you've read one recently, it was most likely more eloquent and well-thought-out than this will be, so save yourself some misery and move on to the next thing you were going to do.

But for those of you who are staying for the whole show...

I'm not really one to call people out, and I hate naming names, largely because I've done some pretty awful shit in my fifty years and would hate to have fingers pointed at me every time I made a misstep.

To be as vague as possible while still making my point, I hate - HATE - how easy it is to be rude online. I could tell story after story about friends who've been flamed, or had horrible comments left on positive, uplifting blog posts, or any of a number of other things.

While walking with the kids yesterday, my nearly-fourteen-year-old daughter and I had an interesting discussion, which makes me think that at lease part of my issue is generational.

I had to nuke my Twitter account (well, I didn't HAVE to, but that's a story for another post) and as I was explaining what had happened to each person I re-followed who cared to hear about it, my daughter asked why I didn't just cut-n-paste the same message to each person that asked.

I explained to her how rude I thought that was - that each person deserved their own unique response. She didn't see it that way - she felt it would have been appropriate to copy-and-paste my response to each person that asked.

And that brings me to the current burr under my saddle - someone whom I thought I was better friends with than we apparently are inquired outside of Twitter what had happened, I explained it to them, and they made a joke (as they usually do).

And yet, nearly twenty-four hours later, they still haven't followed my new account.

Typing it out that like, it sure seems petty, but it's really the principal of the thing, I guess. Is there a message there? Is there a reason they haven't followed my new Twitter account? Do they think they have but really haven't? It could be any of a dozen, non-nefarious reasons.

But I'm reluctant to say anything - I don't want to come off as whiny. "Why haven't you followed me?" seems so pathetic. Also, I'm afraid that if DO say something and they really don't want to follow me, they will now feel pressured to do so.

So instead, I'll sit here and stew and whine passive-agressively on my blog.

And maybe pour myself another scotch.

Resolutions

It's that time of year again, and as the hours and minutes creep closer to 2014, I guess I should commit something to print.

I'm just not sure what that something should be.

Lose weight? Sure

Run/bike/exercise more? Not a bad idea

Eat a more healthy diet? Ugh...

I think my problem is that I don't really care. Or rather, I'll be 50 next April, and I'm (finally) coming to terms with who I am.

That's not to say I won't make half-assed attempts throughout the year at self-improvement.

But I know myself pretty well, I think.

Will I stop being a smartass? No.

Will I stop "stealing" music? Well, it's more like borrowing...

Will I take better care of myself, both physically and emotionally? Not likely.

Will I be thankful for what I have instead of wishing I had something more/cooler/better? I'd like to think so, but I suspect my Magic 8-ball would tell me to ask again later on this one.

Nope, I guess I'll just resolve to be the same ol' me starting at 12:01 this morning.

It's the only resolution I've been able to keep every year, and I don't see the point in stopping now.

...and then THAT happened...

A man walks into a bar and sits at an empty table. Almost immediately, he notices a very attractive, much older woman at the bar. He thinks to himself, "She's a very attractive woman for her age - I wonder if she has a daughter...?"

The woman notices his gaze and approaches his table. "Tell me," she says to him, "were you just thinking about a mother-daughter thing?"

He can't hide the look of surprise on his face as he tells her, "Actually, yes I was!"

"And would you be interested in that sort of thing, by any chance?" she asks.

Not even trying to hide the huge smile crossing his face, he says, "You bet I would!"

The woman gestures over her shoulder back towards the bar and calls out, "Hey, Ma...!"


That joke has no bearing on this post, I just read it in an old magazine yesterday and thought I'd share it.

The real reasons for this post are to start writing again after a long hiatus, and to express why, after six or seven years, I abruptly quit Facebook the other day.

I'll let that sink in a bit.

Got it? Great, here's why...

Facebook stopped being fun a long time ago.

I don't suppose that's much of a reason, though, is it? As I get older (and older, and older), a lot of things stop being fun, but I don't drop them like they're hot.

(My teenage daughter LOVES when I try to be hip, even though most of my 'hip' references are from 5-10 years ago...)

In all honesty, Facebook isn't what it was a few years ago, and I don't really need to be on it. It's more of a time-suck than anything, and I'm really trying to make better use of my time.

What's changed on Facebook? Let me tell you...

I'm a man of very few good, close friends and many, many acquaintances.

And frankly, Facebook gives one insight into said acquaintances that I would just rather not have.

Anything is fair game on Facebook, and that means the two deadly sins as well - religion and politics.

And I'm just as guilty of spewing my nonsensical, poorly-thought-out views as anyone else.

If Facebook were simply a repository of kids pictures and restaurant check-ins and happy birthday wishes and funny memes, I'd hop back in tomorrow.

But it's not. It's becoming something darker. Or maybe it always has been, and my tolerance for it has just run out.

I hold some pretty firm, well-reasoned thoughts on politics and religion. I don't mind sharing those views with others if they're interested in a rational, mature dialog.

But there is precious little rational, mature dialog on Facebook.

That's not to say all of it is chest-beating garbage. I have a few friends who purposefully (attempted to) engage in thoughtful, intelligent discourse, but those friends are rare on Facebook.

And make no mistake, I know I'm just as guilty as everyone else in abusing the system. Or rather, using the system for that which it was intended - displaying your views, however hateful, hurtful and arrogant, for all the cyber-world to see.

But that's no longer me.

I'm still on Twitter, where I can ignore or unfollow the jerks and idiots, post my nonsense in 140-character bursts, and still engage with those online friends whom I consider to be real friends. Most everyone I enjoyed on Facebook is also on Twitter - those few that aren't I can still text or *gasp* talk to in person.